Everywhere I look, the word team has been incorporated into the way that we do business. More and more, companies are assigning teams to do the work that used to be done by individuals. Why? It’s simple, teams produce the best results. All of us have had some sort of team experience whether it is through school, work, sports, or volunteering in hospitals. From a young age, we have always been taught, “there’s no I in team.” Well, I’m here to tell you that there is—only with a slight catch. Now, I’m not suggesting that the team is all about you, but there are some things you can do as a team member to ensure success for yourself, and for the group.
One of the big issues that plague teams is conflict. Many people have a fear of conflict and will try to avoid it at all costs. Too often, people will sit through a meeting and agree with every solution that is suggested because they are afraid to voice a different idea or point of view. This problem is evident when a strategy session that should last all day lasts only an hour. We all need to remember that it is our duty as team members to make sure everyone’s opinions are heard, and each issue is addressed in full. Conflict gives us the opportunity to take a close look at the issues and ask questions that help us develop quality solutions.
I truly believe that listening to people, in the majority of conflict situations helps to de-escalate things considerably; we all want to have confirmation that we have been understood. We can help guide an interaction in various ways. Many of us, because we are already tapped out from our busy lives, often choose the easy, and I’ll go ahead and say it, the LAZY route with people, even if the “resolution” is not the ideal. Sometimes we want to wrap things up as quickly as possible, and that is not always the most advantageous route, especially if we’re dealing with angry patients or co-workers wherein this situation is very common to us nurses. Just as active listening is important, so is effective speaking. How many times have you gotten in an argument and spewed out hateful words, only for those words to come back and haunt you later? It truly takes a humble man or woman to accept a tirade calmly and redirect it down a path towards collaboration. It’s not an easy task, and those who are effective in conflict/confrontational management are creating art when they smooth things out. Some people seem to have an innate ability, or fantastic social intelligence and display adeptness at diplomacy in pre-school. Nevertheless, it is something we can all learn, practice and improve upon!
I believe that choosing the right words in a situation can make all the difference. Granted, most of what you say is non-verbal, but a careless word can still incite rage and cause grief forever. I suggest that when we are trying to resolve an issue, state the problem carefully without focusing too much on the fact that there is a problem. Everyone is painfully aware there is an elephant in the room, which is why the conflict arose in the first place. We should show respect to the other party and speak for ourselves. We can try using open statements that encourage dialogue, as closed statements, or very definitive statements tend to shut things down quickly.
If you think back on the compromises you’ve made you’ll realize that most of the time no one got what they actually wanted. When we compromise, each person forgoes his or her own needs or opinions for the sake of the group. It’s like a couple who argues over which comedy movie to watch, and ends up suffering through a horror movie because it’s the only one they could agree on. Now how does this relate to teamwork? The next time you are faced with a difficult decision at work, take a minute to analyze the situation. Try to collaborate with the group you are working with so that you can incorporate each person’s needs and ideas into the solution. You will find that this method of conflict management will greatly enhance your team’s cohesion, and lead to more effective solutions. This may take a little bit more time and effort than a compromise, but the long-term benefits will be well worth it.
And of course, someone is not going to pop out from behind your desk, and grab you if you aren’t a good team member. However, your co-workers and superiors will definitely notice if you start to become a distraction for the team. The easiest way to deflect negative attention is to separate work from your personal life. Obviously, we all conduct our job with our personal emotions in mind, but we must draw the line on issues such as religion, politics, race, gender, and sexual preference. While these topics are okay to discuss at home, they should never enter the team environment. It only takes one comment, and other group members will shut down for the rest of the remaining stay of yours with the team. The best team members I’ve worked with are people who can self-monitor themselves, and leave their personal feelings and opinions out when works start. They made me feel comfortable about asserting myself, and they were the first people to notice if boundaries were crossed. I suggest that we all master this skill and you will find yourself admired by your colleagues, and in more team leadership roles.
I read a great little rule of thumb for effective speaking:
Say what you are going to say, say it, and say what you said.
This should help get your point across. If not, it’s time to shift gears, of course. De-escalation takes sensitivity and finesse, and inside you may feel like initiating the all-out beat-down. Nevertheless, cleverness can get you out of tight spots in managing conflict and aggressive behavior, and any time you can do that instead of fighting, it is usually the most desirable choice.
Conflict can be your friend, don’t avoid it. Work to satisfy everyone’s needs, don’t just compromise. Monitor your personal emotions, and focus on the task.
Teamwork should be an enjoyable and beneficial experience for everyone involved. As we begin our next team projects now or in the futures in our own lives, let’s all focus on strengthening our team skills to benefit the institution we are working in, the client, and ourselves.
