Diversity and Cultural Competency

When I wrote my first diversity reflection, I limited myself to only observing the racial/ethnic backgrounds of my graduate school classes for I have encountered different classmates other than being filipinos but also from other nationalities. When I heard the word diversity, my mind immediately thought of ethnicity but diversity encompasses much more than that. It includes gender, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, political beliefs, socio-economic status, learning styles, etc. I realized that I had a narrow perspective of diversity before our discussion at our Human Relations class which is basically my assigned report. I also realized that my class was more diverse than I had originally thought.

If I put aside the racial backgrounds of my classmates for a minute, there is a lot of diversity in the classroom that is not necessarily seen by the naked eye. In order for such diversity to be seen, one must get to know the students. The more I get to know my classmates, the more I can see just how different each one of them is. Each student has a different home life. Most of their parents are married but one student’s mother is currently in another country, the other has separated parents and has to breadwin her own life and her siblings, etc.  Each student has a different learning style. Each person has a different fashion sense. And the list of diversity continues...

The most important aspect of diversity is realizing that it does not just fit into one category. As an individual, it is my inititiative to discover the diversity among my classmates and celebrate them with each other. It is crucial that we establish a safe and welcoming classroom environment for every person no matter their backgrounds or situations. We must also create equality among the diversity. The earlier we learn to practice this in a smaller community, then by the time we shift to bigger one such as our workplace as a nurse, then we won't hang on for a longer time in the stage of shock. We can be able to adapt flexibly to the differences.

Many people believe that to be culturally competent, one has to learn a laundry lists of cultural tips that are unique for each culture.  My approach is different.  After many years of personal experience, I have come to the conclusion that there are general skills that can be taught to help someone be more culturally competent.

That is not to say that learning customs that are specific to a culture is not a good idea.  This shows a genuine effort and interests in the other and demonstrates open-mindedness and courtesy.  It is actually that effort and interest that is the first key to cultural competence.  Being able to express a respectful curiosity about other cultures and a wilingess to step outside of one’s own cultural perspective is essential to successful cross-cultural interactions.

When Charles Darwin wrote The Origin of Species back in 1859 he probably didn’t realize just how accurate he was when stating:

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent ones, but the ones that are most receptive to change”

It means that those who are able to adapt to new challenges will survive in the long term. In this context “survival of the fittest” means your organizational responses to changes happening in the world. It literally means all important changes occurring around us – including a changed cultural reality. Adaptation is in other words at the center stage. The organizational ability to adapt to a new multicultural reality is in other words the difference between success or failure in the years to come.

Once you create this awareness, you open up to understanding other people’s cultural context. This can open lines of communication and lead to tremendously rewarding interactions and relationships.  I have had so many amazing experiences connecting with people different from myself.  These interactions were possible because I was willing to entertain other perspectives and admit when I did not understand something(this is not always easy for me to do).

So many of these experiences have helped me grow and have led to just plain fun and interesting adventures.

I encourage you to take some time to consider your own cultural context and how you might reach out and connect with someone different than you.  This diversity, complexity and free exchange of conflicting ideas and ideals is what makes our country so exciting and interesting.

Dealing with Difficult People

One of my Facebook friends subscribes to a site called “Message

From God . . . On this day, God wants you to know . . .”   One of the more recent messages was:

“… that difficult people are very important, – they teach you tolerance and acceptance.  If all was going your way all the time, you would become

a spoiled child, wouldn’t everyone?  Difficult people are just one of the ways God teaches.”

We all deal with difficult people, sometimes within our very own families. And with families gathering for the holidays, this can be a very stressful time.  How can we try to make this year different?  If we open ourselves to hear what God is telling us, what lessons can we learn?

Working with difficult People is about me or you. Because face it, at some point, each and every one of us is a difficult person. That’s the most important lesson to be learned. Even when the difficult person is someone else, there’s something to be learned about oneself.

I remember when I was in third grade walking to my P.E class asking my teacher, Mrs. Aguilar, the most perplexing question of my life, “Why are people mean?” This question was raised by me as part of my childhood experience being bullied by my classmates. She had no answer. I’ve been searching for it ever since.

Maybe, just maybe, I’m getting closer to understanding how to answer it.

So once again I ponder the questions I asked long ago. This time with much more experience, much more knowledge and maturity.

What have I come up with? People are often mean when bad things have happened to them. If people don’t address whatever hurt they feel right when it happens, it sits inside them and festers. It stays inside if they don’t deal with it and begins to slightly change. Well, then they turn that hurt into anger and they lash out at other people–people who probably had nothing to do with what hurt them. But what we have to understand is that it has nothing to do with us. Okay, sometimes we might provoke it, but the intensity, the whole of their anger, really is not about us. We can be compassionate and feel sad for them, maybe say a prayer if that’s your kind of thing, but just listen, hear them and then walk away. If nothing else, you can learn how you do not want to be. You can use it as an example of what not to do in your life. Don’t try to change them, don’t judge them. Just accept them as they are and move on. Focus on your own life and what you’re learning in your life. How you’re growing and changing and improving yourself. Indeed every encounter provides an opportunity to learn. So learn something if you can and let it go.

We will probably never really know why certain people are mean. But it’s not for us to know or for us to understand. It’s just important that we tolerate them and feel compassion for them. And don’t let it change who we are. We can’t let it pull us into a negative place where we return the meanness with our own jabs of anger. Let’s just keep our intentions pure.

My grandmother once said, “If you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything.” Let’s live by that and focus on what’s good in our lives.

It might be tempting to wish that all difficult people would just disappear down some dark bottomless pit, but that’s no solution. There will always be difficult people in our lives. Always!!! We can’t run away from them. We can’t change them. But when we encounter them, we can choose to go deeper into our selves and find the soft spot within ourselves. Not to make ourselves more vulnerable, rather to remember who we are and feel the compassion in our hearts. Let their rage pass by us like a hot wind. Observe it as it flies past, but just let it fly. It will pass. Just give it time.

I always remind myself, “Every night I say, ‘I forgive myself for any mistakes I made today, I correct them, learn from them and then I let them go.’ The letting go part is especially important. When we choose to hang onto anger or turn it into resentment or bitterness, we start walking down the darker path. We, too, then have unresolved feelings festering inside us. So let go. Trust that it’s not up to us to deal with all the injustices in the world. But it is up to you to be the best YOU you can be. For today, choose to not be a difficult person.”

Personal Needs in the Workplace

Each of us is motivated by needs. We have learned in our BSN years that our most basic needs are inborn, having evolved over tens of thousands of years.  Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs states that we must satisfy each need level, starting with the first, biological and physiological needs, before we can begin to seek to satisfy the next level of need.  Only when the lower order needs of physical and emotional well-being are satisfied are we concerned with the higher order needs of influence and personal development.

Even if we have reached the highest need level of self actualization, our motivations can quickly change if our situation changes, such as going through a divorce or losing a job, so that lower level needs are no longer being met.

Recalling the Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, the lowest level is Biological and Physiological needs which comprises the need of air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, sleep, etc. Second is the Safety needs which demands for protection from elements, security, order, law, limits, stability, etc. Third level is Belongingness and Love needs which includes work group, family, affection, relationships, etc. Fourth is Esteem needs whic mainly involves self-esteem, achievement, mastery, independence, status, dominance, prestige, managerial responsibility, etc. The last and the highest level is Self-Actualization needs wherein an individual needs realizing personal potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth and peak experiences.

The Hierarchy of Needs directly relates to the working environment and how to create a joyful workplace.  If an employer can meet the basic need levels of their employees and create self-actualization opportunities to provide real meaning, purpose and true personal development for their employees, a joyful workplace will be the result.

Now, the question is, "How can we integrate those needs to individuals when it comes to workplace?" I can suggest a few in my own perspective, but of course I am not certain if this actually met in most workplace case scenarios.

So, for Physiological Motivation: The boss can provide ample breaks for lunch and recuperation and pay salaries that allow workers to buy life’s essentials; Safety Needs: Provide a working environment, which is safe, relative job security, retirement benefits, and freedom from threats; Social Needs: Generate a feeling of acceptance, belonging, and community by reinforcing team dynamics; Esteem Motivators: Recognize achievements, assign important projects, and provide status to make employees feel valued and appreciated.  Offer job titles that convey the importance of the position; Self-Actualization: Offer challenging and meaningful work assignments, which enable innovation, creativity, and progress according to long-term goals.

I believe that the best employers and organizations are beginning to learn that sustainable success is built on a serious and compassionate commitment to helping people identify, pursue and reach their own personal unique potential – self-actualization.  When people grow as people, they automatically become more effective and valuable as employees. Virtually all personal growth, whether in a hobby, a special talent or interest, or a new experience, produces new skills, attributes, behaviors and wisdom that is directly transferable to any sort of job role.

But of course, trust is a basic element of fulfilling one’s Safety Needs, which is nearly the lowest level of the hierarchy.  Employees must trust that their jobs are secure and that there are no threats before they can think about joy in the workplace.  Likewise, trust also influences team dynamics and the feeling of acceptance and belonging in the workplace, which are needed to satisfy our Social Needs.  Without trust, employees will not be working at the highest levels of the hierarchy where joy is most prevalent.

Developing Teamwork and Managing Conflicts

Everywhere I look, the word team has been incorporated into the way that we do business. More and more, companies are assigning teams to do the work that used to be done by individuals. Why? It’s simple, teams produce the best results. All of us have had some sort of team experience whether it is through school, work, sports, or volunteering in hospitals. From a young age, we have always been taught, “there’s no I in team.” Well, I’m here to tell you that there is—only with a slight catch. Now, I’m not suggesting that the team is all about you, but there are some things you can do as a team member to ensure success for yourself, and for the group.

One of the big issues that plague teams is conflict. Many people have a fear of conflict and will try to avoid it at all costs. Too often, people will sit through a meeting and agree with every solution that is suggested because they are afraid to voice a different idea or point of view. This problem is evident when a strategy session that should last all day lasts only an hour. We all need to remember that it is our duty as team members to make sure everyone’s opinions are heard, and each issue is addressed in full. Conflict gives us the opportunity to take a close look at the issues and ask questions that help us develop quality solutions.

I truly believe that listening to people, in the majority of conflict situations helps to de-escalate things considerably; we all want to have confirmation that we have been understood. We can help guide an interaction in various ways. Many of us, because we are already tapped out from our busy lives, often choose the easy, and I’ll go ahead and say it, the LAZY route with people, even if the “resolution” is not the ideal. Sometimes we want to wrap things up as quickly as possible, and that is not always the most advantageous route, especially if we’re dealing with angry patients or co-workers wherein this situation is very common to us nurses. Just as active listening is important, so is effective speaking. How many times have you gotten in an argument and spewed out hateful words, only for those words to come back and haunt you later? It truly takes a humble man or woman to accept a tirade calmly and redirect it down a path towards collaboration. It’s not an easy task, and those who are effective in conflict/confrontational management are creating art when they smooth things out. Some people seem to have an innate ability, or fantastic social intelligence and display adeptness at diplomacy in pre-school. Nevertheless, it is something we can all learn, practice and improve upon!

I believe that choosing the right words in a situation can make all the difference. Granted, most of what you say is non-verbal, but a careless word can still incite rage and cause grief forever. I suggest that when we are trying to resolve an issue, state the problem carefully without focusing too much on the fact that there is a problem. Everyone is painfully aware there is an elephant in the room, which is why the conflict arose in the first place. We should show respect to the other party and speak for ourselves. We can try using open statements that encourage dialogue, as closed statements, or very definitive statements tend to shut things down quickly.

If you think back on the compromises you’ve made you’ll realize that most of the time no one got what they actually wanted. When we compromise, each person forgoes his or her own needs or opinions for the sake of the group. It’s like a couple who argues over which comedy movie to watch, and ends up suffering through a horror movie because it’s the only one they could agree on. Now how does this relate to teamwork? The next time you are faced with a difficult decision at work, take a minute to analyze the situation. Try to collaborate with the group you are working with so that you can incorporate each person’s needs and ideas into the solution. You will find that this method of conflict management will greatly enhance your team’s cohesion, and lead to more effective solutions. This may take a little bit more time and effort than a compromise, but the long-term benefits will be well worth it.

And of course, someone is not going to pop out from behind your desk, and grab you if you aren’t a good team member. However, your co-workers and superiors will definitely notice if you start to become a distraction for the team. The easiest way to deflect negative attention is to separate work from your personal life. Obviously, we all conduct our job with our personal emotions in mind, but we must draw the line on issues such as religion, politics, race, gender, and sexual preference. While these topics are okay to discuss at home, they should never enter the team environment. It only takes one comment, and other group members will shut down for the rest of the remaining stay of yours with the team. The best team members I’ve worked with are people who can self-monitor themselves, and leave their personal feelings and opinions out when works start. They made me feel comfortable about asserting myself, and they were the first people to notice if boundaries were crossed. I suggest that we all master this skill and you will find yourself admired by your colleagues, and in more team leadership roles.

I read a great little rule of thumb for effective speaking:

Say what you are going to say, say it, and say what you said.

This should help get your point across. If not, it’s time to shift gears, of course. De-escalation takes sensitivity and finesse, and inside you may feel like initiating the all-out beat-down. Nevertheless, cleverness can get you out of tight spots in managing conflict and aggressive behavior, and any time you can do that instead of fighting, it is usually the most desirable choice.

Conflict can be your friend, don’t avoid it. Work to satisfy everyone’s needs, don’t just compromise. Monitor your personal emotions, and focus on the task.

Teamwork should be an enjoyable and beneficial experience for everyone involved. As we begin our next team projects now or in the futures in our own lives, let’s all focus on strengthening our team skills to benefit the institution we are working in, the client, and ourselves.

Managing Stress and Personal Problems

We are pulled in many different directions in life. Be it a project at work, a bake sale for school, a volunteer opportunity, or you name it, we all seem to have less time to do more. And all these pressure and activity add to our stress and our blood pressure!

So how do we find time to take part in everything and still find time for ourselves and for our family? My answer--I don’t! It is time to just say, “NO!”

It Hurts to Say No. It is not so easy to say, “no”. The word “no” carries with it guilt associated with not being able to help a struggle against peer pressure and others impression of you, and a feelings of failure not being able to do all the things I may want.

But no worries. I just want to relax. I can’t do it all anyway. Nobody can. And anyone who you thought was doing it all, well, they weren’t actually. They were sacrificing things in their life all the way. We just didn’t see what they were sacrificing. They were saying no to other things to allow us to see their successes.

I know we all have goals in life. And hopefully, we are focused on what we really want. If so, the answer should be an easy one. However, saying “no” is the difficult part. Every time I say “yes,” I am taking time from my schedule and essentially saying “no” to something else in my life. So I don’t feel bad saying “no.” Saying no to new things can allow me to have time to concentrate on what is really important to me and keeps me from burnout, lowers my stress level, allows me more time for other things.

This is how I manage stress and problems. When I feel like it’s getting heavy and burn out, I just say “no”. But this doesn’t mean that I always do it everytime. There are just things that you really have to say “no” to.

But when should I say yes? I think that before I can even think about getting good at saying “no,” I should get clear on what to say “yes” to in life. If my “yes” is more time with my family, it will mean turning down obligations that keep my away from home. If it’s “yes” to better health, I’ll need to say “no” to late nights at work that keep me away from good sound sleep.

I believe the firmer the foundation and connection to your yes, the less difficult it will be to say no.

Sometimes I also get to ask if there are some times I should say, “Yes?” and I've observed that Of course there are times, but before I do say yes, I should consider myself asking this:

Does this fit my “Yes” objectives? Is it part of my life plan or my definite major purpose?

Is this something I really want to do? How does saying yes help me? How big is the commitment? How involved will I have to be? Will this event be something reoccurring and fit into my schedule at another time? What will happen if I say no? If I say yes, what will I have to give up doing to do this instead? And this is the KEY question-Am I being asked to do this job because I’m right for it or because I usually don’t say “No”?

As matured as we are now and as professionals we may call ourselves to be, we don’t have to be ashamed or feel guilty about saying, “no.” We should take pride in knowing we are remaining committed to our values and are doing what is important to us and our family. I believe that we’ll be stronger for it. Even better, we’ll be a more focused contributor to the people and things that matter to us most.