We are pulled in many different directions in life. Be it a project at work, a bake sale for school, a volunteer opportunity, or you name it, we all seem to have less time to do more. And all these pressure and activity add to our stress and our blood pressure!
So how do we find time to take part in everything and still find time for ourselves and for our family? My answer--I don’t! It is time to just say, “NO!”
It Hurts to Say No. It is not so easy to say, “no”. The word “no” carries with it guilt associated with not being able to help a struggle against peer pressure and others impression of you, and a feelings of failure not being able to do all the things I may want.
But no worries. I just want to relax. I can’t do it all anyway. Nobody can. And anyone who you thought was doing it all, well, they weren’t actually. They were sacrificing things in their life all the way. We just didn’t see what they were sacrificing. They were saying no to other things to allow us to see their successes.
I know we all have goals in life. And hopefully, we are focused on what we really want. If so, the answer should be an easy one. However, saying “no” is the difficult part. Every time I say “yes,” I am taking time from my schedule and essentially saying “no” to something else in my life. So I don’t feel bad saying “no.” Saying no to new things can allow me to have time to concentrate on what is really important to me and keeps me from burnout, lowers my stress level, allows me more time for other things.
This is how I manage stress and problems. When I feel like it’s getting heavy and burn out, I just say “no”. But this doesn’t mean that I always do it everytime. There are just things that you really have to say “no” to.
But when should I say yes? I think that before I can even think about getting good at saying “no,” I should get clear on what to say “yes” to in life. If my “yes” is more time with my family, it will mean turning down obligations that keep my away from home. If it’s “yes” to better health, I’ll need to say “no” to late nights at work that keep me away from good sound sleep.
I believe the firmer the foundation and connection to your yes, the less difficult it will be to say no.
Sometimes I also get to ask if there are some times I should say, “Yes?” and I've observed that Of course there are times, but before I do say yes, I should consider myself asking this:
Does this fit my “Yes” objectives? Is it part of my life plan or my definite major purpose?
Is this something I really want to do? How does saying yes help me? How big is the commitment? How involved will I have to be? Will this event be something reoccurring and fit into my schedule at another time? What will happen if I say no? If I say yes, what will I have to give up doing to do this instead? And this is the KEY question-Am I being asked to do this job because I’m right for it or because I usually don’t say “No”?
As matured as we are now and as professionals we may call ourselves to be, we don’t have to be ashamed or feel guilty about saying, “no.” We should take pride in knowing we are remaining committed to our values and are doing what is important to us and our family. I believe that we’ll be stronger for it. Even better, we’ll be a more focused contributor to the people and things that matter to us most.
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