I am "The One That Got Away"

Just reposting an article i read in a website: 

The One That Got Away
(Mark J. Macapagal, The Manila Times)

In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special and ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with…and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it’s that person with whom everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person nor flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come. Hopefully, you’re single or be in a long-term relationship, or be married with three kids…it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you have changed. And for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, “What if they were here today?” , “What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?” .The one that got away is– the biggest “What if?” you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that you’re already with the one you’re with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a “might have been,” but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple –find him or find her. The very existence of a “one that got away” means that you’ll always wonder…what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee. Ask her out to a movie. It doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be “the one that got away” as well for the person who is your “the one that got away.” You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow. It would be a great feeling in the end, to be able to say to someone, “Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away.”

i miss you.

Inspirational Quotes from 'SOUL SURFER"

So I have watched this Soul Surfer movie which is a true story of Bethany Hamilton, played by AnnaSophia Robb.  Hamilton was a teenage surfing champion who lost her left arm in a shark attack but worked her way back to champion status once again.  It is a great movie that I recommend for everyone, especially people dealing with self-doubt or feelings of inadequacy.

Here are the most memorable lines from the movie which really feeds the soul:

1. “It’s hard to look at things that are too close.” - Those are the words of Hamilton’s Youth Minister Sarah Hill played by Carrie Underwood.  Often we don’t understand why we face the struggles in our life.  We only understand them with perspective that comes with time.  
2. “A small step in a good direction.”  Bethany was struggling with a decision she made to participate in a competition rather than fulfilling a previous commitment to Hill to go on a Mexican mission trip.  Her mother Cheri, played by the marvelous Helen Hunt, communicates that often our internal struggles point us in positive directions.  If you are currently struggling with a decision in your life, press into that and don’t simply dismiss the struggle. 
3. "Peace" – What ultimately saved Bethany’s life during the shark attack was staying calm.  If you are feeling attacked in your life, one of the most important things you can do is stay calm.
4. “I don’t need easy.  I just need possible.” Leaders and champions just want a chance.
5. “Compassion can drive us to do amazing things and give us perspective.” - The turning point in the movie for Bethany was a relief trip to tsunami-ravaged Thailand with World Vision.  It was there that she received the perspective needed to move forward.  If you are feeling down or hopeless, the best remedy is often serving someone less fortunate than yourself.
6. “Normal is overrated.” - If you don’t fit in, that is a good thing.  You are uniquely and wonderfully made.
7. “Love is bigger than any tidal wave or fear.” – The Hamiltons are a great example of what a loving and supportive family can do in a child’s life.  Conversely, it also occurred to me that often dysfunctional families are more dangerous than sharks are.
8. “Why would they want me to compete?” asks Bethany to her father Tom played by Dennis Quaid.  This was asked after a difficult first competition back but also after receiving hundreds of letters from people inspired by her.  “(Because) You tried” he answers.  Effort and a desire to compete in spite of our circumstances honors God and inspires people.
9. “When you get in the Impact Zone, get back up because you never know what’s over the next wave.” – Surfing has a period of time called “The Impact Zone” when things can get very difficult.  Like life, often the difference between a champion surfer and everyone else is when the Impact Zone knocks them down, they simply choose to get back up.  Some of you reading this simply need to get back up!
10. “I could never have embraced this many people with two arms.” – Jeremiah 29:11 is quoted in the movie and states “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”  Often what you think is one of your greatest defeats or challenges is something that God is using to give you more blessing and influence than you ever imagined.

I encourage everyone to see this movie.  We all face things that seem impossible either currently or in the future.  It’s inevitable and no one is immune.  The principles contained in this movie will help carry you through that difficult time.

"If you Have Faith, anything is possible -- anything at all!"

-Brian Dodd

A “Secret Fear” That Keeps You Fat

Here’s a thought for the day…

“It’s not arrogant for a flower to bloom.”

I wish I came up with that myself, but I actually heard it third hand – a friend of mine got it from a teacher in her yoga class. The teacher was saying that realizing your full potential is something that embarrasses a lot of people…

Think about that for a moment. It may sound strange, but it’s very true. Nobody ever looks at a flower and thinks, “Wow that plant is so arrogant!  What a show off that plant is.”

But most people, especially women, feel like there is something embarrassing about even ADMITTING to the vision of what they want to be… or look like.

It sounds selfish and shallow to want to walk through the world as a beautiful person with a beautiful body. Somehow in our society there is this idea that if you want to be the very best YOU that you can be, it’s a little bit arrogant. As if you should be ashamed about wanting to really blossom into something beautiful and wonderful.

Society, your friends, maybe even your family, reinforce this negative idea. Think about this for a minute… really think about it:

How would your best friend feel if you suddenly started getting really into working on your health and body?

How would she feel if you really TRANSFORMED into somebody who was as beautiful and radiant on the outside as you already knew that you COULD BE?

Sure, your friend would be happy for you…

But also, unless your friend is a VERY special and evolved person, there would probably be some resentment that you’ve changed, that you’ve improved, that you’ve blossomed and realized your full potential… and she has not. It’s not evil, it doesn’t make her a bad friend.  It’s simply human nature.

But it’s very self-defeating.

And yet, as I said, nobody ever thinks a flower is arrogant or a show off when it blooms into radiant color. Why not?

Because for a flower, blooming is simply the natural and right thing to do. Flowers are supposed to bloom.  It’s “God’s plan.”  Nature doesn’t want the flower to be modest.

In reality there is no lack of modesty in the flower realizing its full potential and

opening up to the sunlight to show off all of its dazzling color.

And it’s exactly the same for you.

Look, I realize that this might sound like some new-agey, mumbo-jumbo. It’s not.

If you are totally honest with yourself, you have to admit that part of the reason that you’re not enjoying fully blooming into the person that you COULD BE is that on some level you don’t believe that you DESERVE it.

You feel like suddenly losing weight, getting into shape, taking care of your body, and becoming beautiful would make you shallow or beauty obsessed, or that people would say, “Look at her, all she ever does is show off how HEALTHY she is.”

Are you afraid that you wouldn’t know how to live that life – that it might be hard being beautiful and not having the excuse of being heavy any more?

Maybe you are afraid of being judged unworthy of being beautiful. That is a very destructive (and common) habit that CAN be broken. The truth is, God, or nature, or evolution, or whatever you believe made the rules of the universe… WANTS you to bloom.

Like the flower, that’s what you are SUPPOSED to do.

I’m going to tell you an important, life changing secret:

It is not arrogant to bloom.

If you could learn to actually believe this one little thing about yourself, it would DRAMATICALLY change the quality of your life and it would make it much easier for you to achieve your health and body goals (not to mention your financial

and relationship goals as well).

So I’d like you to ask yourself– do YOU think that it’s arrogant to bloom?

Is it shallow or selfish to want to be beautiful, or want to achieve the very best body,

the very best health, the very best of everything you can be? When I lay it out like that, I know that in your heart you probably have some uneasy feelings that maybe it IS a bit selfish to want to be beautiful.

If you believe in something bigger than yourself, do you think that you were created and given a spirit and an AWARENESS of your spirit just so that you could live a life of internal and constant struggle?

If you believe in evolution, do you think that millions of years of trial, error, survival, and reproduction were all so that you could just “get by,” or rather so that you could PROSPER and be the most successful and best human animal that you

could be?

If you believe in karma, physics, mother nature, or ANYTHING else, if you have anything in your life that lets you zoom out and see the big picture of life, then you must see that it is your DESTINY to be the BEST YOU that you can be.

It is what the world needs from you.  If you don’t do it, no one else will do it for you.

Let me say that again…

NO ONE ELSE WILL DO IT FOR YOU.

There has NEVER been a person that is exactly like you.  You are a unique individual with a unique story. Your life cannot be replaced, nor can it be repeated. If you don’t realize your potential, if YOU don’t grow to your fullest, there will never be another opportunity, and it will be lost forever.

Your life is ready and waiting to bloom.  Give yourself permission to reach for the sunlight. If you could talk yourself into this one idea, if you could honestly believe in the depths of your heart that it is not arrogant to bloom, that it is not AT ALL selfish to want health, beauty, success, and happiness on EVERY level…

…If you honestly believed that it would be a VIRTUE to bloom, like the flower, giving your gifts to the world…

…If you could change that one idea in your mind, it would be MUCH easier to achieve and keep ALL your goals in life.  Especially your health, fitness, and weight goals.

I KNOW it works, because I am the proof along with all of the friends and clients of mine who have succeeded by changing their mindset about this one thing.

It’s possible for you too.

Enjoy blooming.

Wacky

Behaving in a silly or random way in order to appear funny.

The Art of Relationships

Every person you meet is a mirror. When we share love, we see love. When we share kindness, we find kindness. When we hold onto anger, we experience anger. When we desire control, we feel controlled.

When we want another to “do it our way” we rob them of their own soul’s dignity. In reality, we don’t know the greater why, how, what, or when the gift of their own awareness, learning, growth or upliftment will bloom.

Who are we to presume we know what another truly needs?

If you could consider everything that bothers you about a person or situation to be a reflection of what you think, believe or judge, you would experience joy beyond measure as you meet and accept the you that you see in others.

This isn’t easy stuff to get the hang of. It hurts, stings, and is a royal pain in the you-know-what when we begin the journey of letting go and opening to the greater truth contained in our loving heart. However, I can tell you that if you hang in there, your life will become much easier and more fulfilling than you ever dreamed possible.

I’m not sure we ever stop wanting to change the “other” in our life until we stop trying to change ourselves. Our ego will always tell us if we change our environment, situation, circumstance, etc. things will be better.

We keep from falling back into our old routines and habits by allowing ourselves to grow naturally.  What is forced doesn’t have a chance to grow roots, what is nurtured grows strong.

If you could recognize that a fight is nothing more than a cry for love,

“see me, hear me, love me” then compassion is born. Fighting fairly is to allow yourself vulnerability without taking what the other person is saying or doing personally – it is taking care of yourself and then learning how to take care of others.

Sometimes the best way to fight fairly is to just walk away for a while and calm down.  Even a shower sometimes does the trick.  Take a deep breath and choose to come from your loving heart. This sometimes means putting yourself in their shoes.

It doesn’t serve you well to “pretend” things don’t bother you. Nor does it serve you well to blame another for your upset response. The upset, theirs or yours, is real.

Instead take a look at it this way:

I’m angry, I’m sad, I’m upset, and the host of other feelings, both positive and negative, are all accurate expressions of feelings… when we say “I’m upset because…” It’s the ‘because’ that creates separation. This is the mind’s interpretation of “why” the upset, sadness or anger occurred.

Be patient, compassionate, and gentle with yourself. You will find the art of relationships becomes the art of loving everyone – especially yourself.

Human Relations in Nursing Evaluation

They say change is always a good thing but I wonder if that’s really true. Is change always good or is that a statement we make just to make ourselves feel good about the change?

In the past years my life has been through a huge rollercoaster ride on both a interpersonal and intrapersonal level and it all involved change. Changes that made me happy at times and most of them that made me sad, cry or wonder why all this is really happening to me. Adjusting to the change has not been very easy for me and most of the time has been a very emotional experience which most of the times leaves me feeling alone because nobody can understand the emotional turmoil that I go through dealing with it.

Do you like changes in your life? Whether we embrace change or resist it, the fact is, change happens.

Some changes are natural, like walking, talking, the first day of school. We celebrate these changes with pictures, announcements, scrapping notes on a journal so as to remember that on that day, a change had happened. We call our friends and chat about our new agenda, or we got a new job. These changes are positive. They give us a sense of joy.

What about celebrating the changes that we aren’t that thrilled about, that don’t give us the warm fuzzies inside? These are the losses in our lives. The changes that we don’t expect. The events that make us reach down deep to find the strength to get through them. The changes, that once we accept them, we can see that they had to happen, to bring us to the place where we are in life today.

What about celebrating the in between times, when we are anticipating change, but they aren’t happening quickly enough, or according to our time table? We wait to get a call for an interview from the hospital where we submitted our resume into. We wait to hear about the test results. We wait for word on a contract. We wait, we wait, we wait. We might feel like our lives are in limbo. If we celebrate waiting on these opportunities, we can be happier in the moment, and not so attached to the outcome.

These are what I have firmly seen while taking the human relations class. At first, it was just like I have to take the subject just to fill in the units in my master’s degree. I never really thought of it as relevant as it is to me now. This class is just one of the things or medium that brought changes into my life. And the professor whom I thought would be so hard to deal with because of the impression marked in me that she can be lenient, turned out to be one of the most inspiring person I have met. She talks ardently about life and her experiences. I so love the subject because it talks about life, and me as a lover of life would greatly be fond of it. Celebrating the changes that aren’t joyous, and perhaps aren’t happening according to when we want them, open us up to being more positive and accepting to the ups and downs of life. It might take years to adjust to some life changes, in order to reach a point of celebration. But the times of joy do come. In hindsight we can see that the bad events also happen for our ultimate good.

I have seen the bad events in my life turn around and become things I celebrate almost daily. I celebrate having some fears and doubts today. Years ago, I would have scoffed at the idea. Today, I fully understand that my losses has a positive purpose in my life. To teach, to show mercy, to inspire, to challenge others. I don’t celebrate “disability” — I celebrate ability. I recognize ability in myself and in all people.

Now my life is going to go through a bigger change, probably the most significant change in my life…. commitments.. a shift… job… everything that was constant in my life is now going to change some of which i am really happy about, some of which i hope i wouldn’t have to go through and some which just make me wonder if I am making the right tradeoff and I have battled with myself enough and there is no right answer. When there is a change there is a reason and most of the time there is always an option and it’s really up to you to choose what you want or sometimes circumstances choose it for you. Thus I learned that if it’s a change you choose don’t complain and if not just deal with it.

We all have events and issues in our lives that are not typically things we want to celebrate. But these events are also part of the fabric of who we are, and the fact that we have moved through them, deserves celebration. We are more fully ourselves, and stronger because of these events.

So basically, my whole insight is that life is all about changes. Whether you like it or not, it would bound to happen. Whether you want it or not, it would still bound to happen.

Instead of complaining about it, it is more advisable to focus your energy to learn more about the changes and get the best out of it. It is true that when these changes take place, it wont be easy to withstand all that comes but with persistent and determination, one would be able to tackle these changes and actually become stronger.

If you are facing changes now, have no fear. Embrace it and you will grow for the better!

Emotional Intelligence

This got to be one of my favorite topic- Emotional Intelligence. My Emotional Intelligence is my level of awareness of my emotional state of being. Emotional Intelligence is a measure of my ability to be Emotional with conscious-awareness. Being Emotional is consciously knowing, seeing and/or feeling my own personal energetic state of being. Being Emotional is not being emotionally reactive. Reacting in a negative emotional state i.e. anger, frustration, intolerance, is a sign of non-awareness, ignorance and an absence of emotional intelligence.

We react with a low level of emotional intelligence and we are able to respond positively with a high level of emotional intelligence.

For me, emotional Intelligence is knowing my own exclusive level of Self-Confidence to make my own choices with authority; feeling my own unique level of Self-Worth that gives me the power to fulfill my own choices; seeing my own individual level of Self-Esteem that results from having the special ability to connect to my own unique power and exclusive authority.

Recently, I have just learned that there is a direct correlation between emotional intelligence and sexual gratification in women. It was said that Emotional Intelligence seems to have a direct impact on women’s sexual functioning by influencing her ability to communicate her sexual expectations and desires to her partner. I can see that if one has a high EQ, he becomes an achiever in many things.

If I were to tell you that there’s one thing you can do for yourself that will put you miles ahead of the masses, in terms of your professional and personal success, would you want to know what it is? I bet you would, and who wouldn’t? Truth be told, the #1 predictor of personal excellence and overall achievement in life is E.I., and I’m not talking about Employment Insurance. E.I. stands for Emotional Intelligence.

In all honesty when I first heard of emotional intelligence I thought it was all “fluff”, but the more I read, the more I discovered it was anything but “fluff”. Furthermore, unlike our I.Q. and personality, which are primarily fixed, emotional intelligence is not. Emotional intelligence is flexible. We can actually change our emotional intelligence, and there’s plenty of reasons to do so.

A common misconception is that EQ refers to being “touchy feely” and “kissing butt”, and a lot of people are repulsed by these thoughts. However, EQ is really your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others. It also includes your ability to manage your behavior, and relationships. There are really four main skills that make up Emotional Intelligence. The first two, self-awareness and self management are more about you. This makes good sense if you think about it. After all, if you can’t manage yourself and your own feelings and reactions, it’s pretty hard to do so for others. The latter two skills involved in Emotional Intelligence are social awareness, and relationship management. These skills deal primarily with your ability to relate to and understand others. Once again if you’ve ever worked for a tyrannical boss, or somebody who is just plain old hard to get along with, you know what I’m talking about.

The old saying, “It’s not what you know but who you know that counts”, has been around for years. But is there any truth to that statement? Absolutely! Life is all about relationships, and relationships are all about emotional intelligence. Look at it this way. If you were the boss and had to pick people to work for you, would you select people who are difficult to work with, or that you don’t like or get along with – of course you wouldn’t because you’re  human. And it’s our emotions that make us human. No matter how much we like to think that we are rational beings, we are driven by our emotions, and countless studies back this up.

Rest assured that “kissing butt” has nothing to do with emotional intelligence, and emotional intelligence has everything to do with your success. EI is so critical to success that it accounts for 58 per cent of performance in all types of jobs.

Do yourself a favor and pick up one of dozens of excellent books that have been written on EI. With a bit of reading and a little practice, people will be wondering  how you became so successful. Unfortunately for them, they’ll think it has everything to do with your IQ, but you’ll know better!